Finding Your Inner Stubbornness: Why Becca Has Decided She Will Never Give Up on Herself, & Why You Shouldn’t Either
This is Becca,
Often times our preconceived ideas come from a place of not-knowing. Of believing we’re in the right without taking the time to sit on the other side of things. To shift over just enough to see that maybe, maybe, things aren’t as they seem. People, situations, conversations, and places aren’t as they seem. That though we can claim we would have done something differently from someone else, we will never know as we are not them and they are not us.
The best thing we can do when making room for stories to be shared, is to listen. To simply listen, only responding when we are sure there is a gentle-ness surrounding our words and voice, hoping that in return, they will do the same as we share our experiences.
It really is a beautiful thing, story telling. It’s an opportunity to gain insight into a world very unlike our own. To join movements that we otherwise wouldn’t. To believe in something and advocate for it when before, it might not have even been on our radar.
Terrifying, yes, and no doubt we will be put up against fear and uncertainty along the way, but worth it nonetheless. And that’s what I tried to do when reading Becca’s story. To hear her, really hear her, and be there in a way that isn’t all-knowing, but rather, just there.
& here are her words…
Growing up as Tom Boy, you had to drag me out of the woods as a kid. Once inside my mom would nag me to take a shower and then inspect me afterwards to scout for any hidden blood suckers. This was normal routine for me until I hit the ripe age of 26, when my world turned into a living nightmare.
I like to believe my stubbornness is what has kept me alive and kicking all of these years. I grew up as the lower middle class and suffered years of physical abuse from my Step Dad. I ran away from home and dropped out of school when I was sixteeen in search of the Hollywood portrayed California. After spending some time in Juvie, I realized the rebel jail based path wasn’t meant for me. After obtaining my GED and enrolling in college at the early age of 17, life began to look promising.
I survived a year of college and then was introduced to OxyContin by my boyfriend at the time. That love affair created a monster out of me and soon I dropped back out of school. To make matters worse, I was then forced into an arranged marriage and lived in Misawa, Japan in 2011. Six months later Fukushima happened and I was voluntarily evacuated back to the states. This is where the magic happens. After a year of mental recovery, I licked my wounds and worked my way up as a vet tech. A couple years later I worked my way up to become an Area Manager of a prosperous waxing company. I was making more money than most with bachelors degrees.
At the end of March 2018, I went hiking off the trails in northern Florida with my boyfriend. Before I knew it I was covered by 15 ticks. Unfortunately, they were nymphs and I didn’t recognize them until it was too late. Flu like symptoms hit me about a week later. Raging fever, nausea, vomiting, extreme joint pain, fatigue, myalgia, mental confusion and the list goes on. I thought I had the flu, but after visiting the first doctor, she refused to put me on antibiotics even though I told her the story on how I was covered in ticks. I didn’t find a doctor who would start me on antibiotics until three weeks later. One negative erhlichosis test and two negative Lyme tests later, my doctors began to treat me like I’m crazy. Of course this is after raking up my medical expenses by almost 9,000 after just two visits.
Not only did I have to battle this violent disease alone, I was accused of being a drug addict by my employer. One of my former supervisors showed up at my house during all of this and accused me of being a drug addict and said she’s here to save my life. After being completely humiliated, I decided to resign from the so called family company to focus on healing.
I’ve lost my career, my friends, my security, my savings, and almost my sanity through out this entire process. But I refuse to give up. After three months of excruciating symptoms, they finally began to subside. I thought I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! Life had given me two weeks of normalcy, only to slap me back in the face with reality. I did what many of you do, I over did it. My symptoms came back in a ten-fold and everything I had planned for my life in those two weeks is over. Back to the drawing board.
The instilled stubbornness continues to push me to go outside every day. Whether it’s for five minutes or five hours, I push myself to continue to do the things I have always enjoyed. I refuse to let this disease ruin my dream of working as a conservationist.
Never give up—I hope you find your inner stubbornness to keep fighting, too.
Stay in touch with Becca & be there as a support as she keeps living a life more than.