What More Than Lyme Really Stands for + Why You Are Encouraged to Fill In the Blank
Never once did I think I would share this much. To dig a little deeper, reach a little further, and try, each time, to open up just a little bit more about the ideas, projects, adventures, values, and endeavors that are important to me.
It usually takes a lot of persuasion on my part to sit down and write - it's not until later that I feel what some might call the flow. But at first? I am met with nothing but resistance. Resistance and at least five cups of tea in procrastination of, well, this.
Good news, the tea is happily brewing next to me, so we can continue on without any further delays.
I've been thinking a lot about the name, More Than Lyme.
About what it might stand for, and how that definition is often evolving into something else before I have time to collect my thoughts enough to share what that might be. But I like to think there's a kind of magic in that, and maybe that's why I was so drawn to it in the first place.
More Than Lyme. More Than. More.
More Than____. It's as if it's always trying to tell me something.
It's as if it's taking the stories that I've projected onto my life, the expectations, and given me every reason to defy them. To get rid of the "I can't's" and "that's just not for you's," replacing them with "I already am's" and "why not try's."
It's as if it's what's encouraging me to dig a little deeper, reach a little further, and be open to saying both "yes, I can tell you a little bit about what's going on," or no, "right now, I think I need to focus on other things." It's a reminder that no matter where you land or how you process and approach your experience with this disease, you will always be more than.
And depending on where you find yourself right now, sharing can be one of the worst or best thing for you. It can strengthen and boost a shattered confidence, or it can cause angst and pressure around things that you're working on letting go of.
More good news? There's room for it all.
There's room for those years of suppression.
Of pretending like this didn't exist. That the seizures, tremors, memory loss, and depression. For the stories that we keep to ourselves, broken hearts that take years to piece back together, and damage that was done from a relationship that was so toxic it turned you into someone you have trouble recognizing.
There's room for a loss of voice, and for finding your way back to it again.
There's room for you, your days spent in bed daydreaming, paralyzed with fear that you'll never have the strength to share. To have your story be heard.
And there's room for forgiving. For holding on too long, leaning into bad habits, and forgetting where you stand. Forgetting to tell yourself all the many ways in which you are more than, that have quite literally nothing to do with Lyme.
It doesn't always have to be about that one thing. It can be whatever you need it to be.
A reason to write that book.
To jump off this restrictive timeline and create your own.
To give yourself time to grieve.
And to recognize and congratulate yourself when barriers have been broken.
It's about finding out more about you.
Finding your way back to you.
It's about drawing that line in the sand,
only to step over it,
so that you can keep living a life more than (fill in the blank).