What Happens If They Don’t Show Up? On Courage & What It Means to Be Seen & Heard, Even If That Means Walking in Alone

Real Talk More Than Lyme

Believing in oneself takes an incredible amount of courage, and though there have been moments where my heart flutters, stomach drops, and the whole of the world is right there in front of me.

These moments up until now, are all but fleeting. 

They only stick around as long as I’m willing to show up for myself, not just when convenient and tied with a promise that things will turn out ok, but after I’ve tripped up and fallen. After I’ve failed to stand by my side and share this story, instead of picking and choosing pieces of the one I would deem as credible and worthy of putting out into the world. 

With that in mind, it's clear that I haven’t been there for myself, at least not entirely or in the way that matters; believing in oneself is following through with what you know to be true, something I've always stopped short of.  And if you were to not--if you were to keep them (your voice, pursuits, and the things that make your heart flutter and stomach drop) hidden out of fear of-- but how they will be recieved?--there would hardly be a reason to show up. 

So I decided to back out at the last minute, dropping my things and sprinting for the door. 

So it goes, thousands of miles up in the air and I believe in myself, but as I step foot on solid ground and go about the days and weeks ahead, there will most likely be moments where I find it difficult to follow through, coming up with every excuse as to why I shouldn’t and just can’t. 

With courage comes the uncomfortable, and within the uncomfortable arises those counter-arguments and doubts, but beyond that, beyond the part where you’d rather just turn around or settle, is the you you've never questioned.

The curious, determined, forgiving, and adventurous parts. The you that’s ready to stand up and be seen and heard, even if the audience has yet to show up.