Posts tagged travel
Re-Writing Your Story: On Making That Change, Cultivating New Dreams, and What Falls In between

When I go to write about something, whether it be a place, an adventure, experience, or what have you, it’s never about the sights I took in or logistical details, it’s the feeling. It’s where I find myself emotionally. It’s what comes up as I pack my bags—the resistance that’s felt. It’s, as I have said many times before, the moments that fall between the big. 

The decisions made and not made. Thought through and hastily jumped into. The way I turn a blind eye when I comes to finances, telling myself before actually looking at the numbers, that I don’t have enough, which feels an awfully lot like, “I am not enough, nor will I ever be.” 

How am I still applying pressure in all the wrong places? 

And how is taking my own advice still impossibly difficult?

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In Harmony With Myself: Telling Myself I Can Do It Just Before I Decide To Give up

Hands are shaking, check. Head is throbbing, check. Stomach is churning, check. At any given moment I can stop whatever I'm doing, feeling these symptoms pulse through my body like that have done for many, many years.

Slowly but surely, we made our way up the dirt path. A path leading us towards a clearing in the trees not far from where stood. As we continued upwards, I began to make out the white of the mountains above the treetops, as if luring us in with their brief but impactful presence. 

I stopped to catch my breath, letting the cool of my hands soothe my eyes. As I recoup and continue up the path, I think back on my reluctance to take this adventure. Why? I asked myself I over and over. It's almost as if I have been trained to say no, only ever looking for the parts of me that are in pain. The parts of me that feel anxious. The parts of me that I deem unworthy.

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