Posts tagged lyme disease awareness
Let's Talk About Depression: A Birthday Turned Breakdown, Ambitions to Run 26 Miles, and Speaking Your Truth, No Matter Who's Listening

I cup the sunshine in my hands, tilting my fingers and palms forward and back while watching the shadows dance across my skin. 

It's the day after my birthday, I'm sporting puffy eyes and a tired and slow-moving demeanor. Thoughts are sluggish, each movement was taken with deliberate and careful consideration, while small practices of self-love stand in stark contrast to yesterday's affairs. 

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Where Inspiration Is Pulled From: A Holiday Guide to This Years Favorite Makers, Impactful Books, Adventures as a Gift, Why We Should Keep Sending Letters, and Ways in Which a Little Can Go a Long Way

My initial thought was to simply call this a Holiday Gift Guide, but for some reason, that alone just didn't feel right.

You see, I've been wanting to put together a collection of companies, people, books, activities, and what not, that have been part of my inspiration and creative process for the past long while. 

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Reaching a Quarter Of a Century: A Letter To Myself On Being Flexible + Forgiving With Time While Fighting Lyme Disease

When I close my eyes and let my body sink into the springs of the pull out couch, all I can hear is the distant cheer of games being played downstairs, the gentle hum of those already sleeping, and the crashing of waves just outside my window. Ever since I can remember, I've struggled to keep a smile on my face as the hours of my birthday go by. I have often told myself that this makes me a bad person. That my inability to be fully in the present during this 24 hour period, laughing, smiling, and loving all that it means to reach a new age, era, and time in my life, makes me selfish and ungrateful.

Not true, and if you too ever tell yourself that you are either of these two things, stop. Don't you dare think of yourself as a burden, being less than, or someone other than what you, or others, think you should be. 

Now that I think about it, it's been awhile since I've written here, or even on Instagram. It could be that the weight of turning 25 is weighing heavy on me, or that I am simply in a creative funk, but there is this nagging feeling telling me that something else is churning up my core. After all, I think I quite suit being in my mid twenties. And sure, my creativity flows come and go, but amidst the lulls, there is always room to share my voice. 

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This Is Where I am Right Now, and That's Ok. Navigating Expectations + The Pressure We Put On Our Future Selves

Holding off. Stepping back. Looking at the opportunities in front of me at a different angle, with my eyes wide and heart full of simple moments. 

Moments spent with the ones I love, in the places that encourage us all to thrive at a pace that works in harmony with where we are right now, rather than trying to catch up with the expectations that we hold over ourselves. That we carry with us with us no matter how many times we try to shoo them away. 

Part of me is terrified of where I am right now. Part of me wants to drop my responsibilities and run as fast as I can in towards a stress-free, doubt-free, and pain-free place. But, the part of me that keeps digging. The part of me that remains curious, knee deep in ideas and half finished projects, that's the part of me I want to stick with.

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Why We Should Encourage Not Compare. On Leaning Into Our Fears + Sharing Our Story
From a distance,

Something can often seem difficult, harsh, or intimidating. From a distance, our eyes become fixated on all that we have yet to do. On the massive wall that we have yet to find our way over. 

We were on the road by 3:30am winding our way through narrow valley roads scattered with lambs sleeping beside their mothers, the soft sound of music from the stereo encouraging us to stay awake.
The sun was just beginning to rise as we pulled into the trailhead, quickly filling our stomachs with an apple and bar before heading up the rocky path towards the sleeping stone giants. 
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In Harmony With Myself: Telling Myself I Can Do It Just Before I Decide To Give up

Hands are shaking, check. Head is throbbing, check. Stomach is churning, check. At any given moment I can stop whatever I'm doing, feeling these symptoms pulse through my body like that have done for many, many years.

Slowly but surely, we made our way up the dirt path. A path leading us towards a clearing in the trees not far from where stood. As we continued upwards, I began to make out the white of the mountains above the treetops, as if luring us in with their brief but impactful presence. 

I stopped to catch my breath, letting the cool of my hands soothe my eyes. As I recoup and continue up the path, I think back on my reluctance to take this adventure. Why? I asked myself I over and over. It's almost as if I have been trained to say no, only ever looking for the parts of me that are in pain. The parts of me that feel anxious. The parts of me that I deem unworthy.

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