Laying the Foundation.
Welcome to Monday Night Real Talk
(Our First Real Talk - Ever!)
This past week has been a whirlwind. I have felt everything from complete failure to blissful joy. Even as I type this out I can sense that little bubble of anxiety in my chest, ready to take charge and explode.
It's completely terrifying to have to confront something so unknown and unpredictable - every single day.
There was a moment this week where my mind decided to shut down; I felt like everything that I had done, and everything that I had yet to do, was never going to be enough. I felt like I was never going to be the person that I thought that I could be.
How to you move past or let something go when that something is always with you?
So, I spent this day in near silence, trying to convince myself otherwise, trying to convince myself that I was enough - and oh my gosh did my doubts and fears put up a fight. It was debilitatingly exhausting, and by the end of the day I felt like I had completed a marathon without ever having left my home.
When looking back on this inward battle, I noticed one thing. I noticed that regardless of how I'm feeling, or what my body is telling me to do (most likely rest) I will inevitably go go go, and I will do this until the lights go out and my body shakes.
I will do this until I run myself into the ground, and all because my mind tells me that unless I am actively doing everything in my power to work towards my health, dreams, goals, and creative endeavors, that I won't be enough. And so it goes. I continuously beat myself up because no matter what I do, I will never be enough.
When was the last time you felt like a failure? Then, how did you manage or overcome this feeling of being less than?
This feeling of failure is still very present as I type this out, and though I will do everything I can do move past it, I shouldn't beat myself up if it doesn't happen immediately.
This kind of thing takes time, and we have time. We have to remember that. It's as if I am running away from the me now, just to get to a me that I don't even know. A me that isn't real and probably never will be.
So, how do we stop running? What can we do to let our bodies know that we are enough? That we've always been enough.
Please, share anything that comes to mind...
Every Little Counts.