Here Are 5 Little but Important Reasons Why You Are the Strongest You’ve Ever Been Right Now
There is a bouquet of brightly colored yellow flowers in the window.
Kona is sleeping next to my tucked up feet.
I received the sweetest note from a dear friend today.
The birds start chirping with the warmth of the day instead of the sun.
The house is still, I can hear myself breathe. I can hear myself listening.
All the windows are open and afternoon smell reminds me of budding tulips.
I just spent a week with my family, eating delicious meals, laughing effortlessly, drinking too much coffee, all while working hard and passionately toward a goal that I may or may not fall short of—not the point though, is it? In fact, there isn’t one.
That’s on my mind right now, but so is this.
I don’t often realize just how therapeutic I find writing until I don’t do it.
Rather, until I do it after a long stint of not really doing it. I mean, there is the odd instagram post here and there, but for the past few months I have been so focused on perfecting (an impossible task) the More Than Lyme Event, that I’ve let rather important things (ahem, writing) slip away from my habits and eventually out of sight, but not before managing to say, “there’s just not time right now, but don’t worry, I’ll write more, post more, read more, love more, do more, walk more, get outside more, eat more, and generally, take care of myself more, when I have more time.”
Time being a mad dash, a sprint, a chase, that I’ve conjured up in my mind. Time being a hurry. Time being something I will never catch up with. And that’s the thing with time, we can so easily mold it to how we’re feeling. We can take this thing that human kind has used to make sense of our time here on earth, and attach it directly to our worth. To who we think we should be and all that we haven’t done because “time just keeps getting away from me.”
So, why am I talking about time and what does it have to do with those five little but important reasons why you are the strongest you’ve ever been right now? Well, let me tell you.
Rarely do I find that there is just one train of thought going on at once, for instance, the first part of this post, where I describe what’s around me and how this environment makes me feel, and the second, where I highlight my relationship with writing and how it’s in cahoots with my idea of time and how it relates to me directly (because we almost always make it personal)…
One train of thought is driven by my heart and what’s filling me up right now.
While the other is driven by the anxiety and my worry that I’ve strayed too far from writing daily and won’t ever be able to get back into the practice of doing so because I’m just so wrapped up in the timeline of things.
And both are weaving in and out of one another.
Both are of equal importance. That’s not to say that there aren’t others dancing between the two, that’s simply what I chose to highlight as we lead into the why behind it all.
Why you are most certainly and without question, the strongest you’ve ever been right now:
This is an obvious one, but still worth highlighting nonetheless: you’ve never lived this moment, and you will never be able to do this moment differently, so as far as you should be concerned, you’re doing a gosh darn amazing job of it, no matter the obstacles or circumstances at play.
You’ve challenged and encouraged yourself to show up to this moment, even if it’s uncomfortable. Even if all you want to do is run away from reality (yes please!). And that my friend, is worthy of recognition AND celebration.
There will always be improvements to make. There will always be goals to be crossed off and goals that aren’t met. There will always be let downs just as there will always be the moments that are so big and so fulfilling that you couldn’t begin to describe them. There will always be that back and forth relationship with time, so no matter what high or low you find yourself on right now, the fact that you’re here and you’re trying, says something. Says something about your will power and your persistence, no matter how many goals or to do’s have been crossed off. No matter how long it’s been since you’ve written, painted, drawn, run, hiked, or road-tripped. It’s all part of you and it always will be, no matter the distance between.
No matter what your relationship with time was like tonight, this past week, month, or year, YOU are the only one that has any say on your worth. So go ahead and take ownership of that. Terrifying at times, yes, but trust that you’ve got this and you’ve always had this, no matter how many dead-ends you’ve hit. Trust and know that at any point if it doesn't feel right? You can change your mind.
Everything that you are in this moment is an accumulation of your past experiences. Of the people you’ve met, conversations you’ve had, obstacles faced, and adventures taken. Pretty amazing, right? Feel into that. Feel into JUST how strong that makes you and then bring that feeling with as you move forward.
I don’t expect this post to be the solution to my writing-woes just as I don’t expect my relationship with time to ever settle into a steady rhythm, but I do hope that I’ll learn from this moment, and the next, and the next. I do hope that I’ll continue to remind myself of what it took to get here and why you don’t need permission from anyone else before you can consider yourself worthy and capable.
So here’s to everything you are right now, like right right now, and all past moments that have given you the strength to get to where you are. To keep going.
I’m proud of you, and I sure do hope you are, too.
& now I’d love to hear from you.
What makes you the strongest you’ve ever been, right now? Share your thoughts in the comments!