How Opening Up To The World and Being Vulnerable Changed My Life For The Better
Back in high school, I was told, over and over, that my grammar wasn't good enough, and the structure of my words just didn't work. As I was told these things, I began to believe them to be true. I actually convinced myself that some things just weren't possible because I wasn't enough.
Who I believed myself to be began to change when the weight shifted from 'create what you love' to 'only show the world the parts of you that are deemed worthy' by society.
Now, I am not here to rant about the way our school system is set up, but rather, to shine a little light on the parts of you that you don't believe to be enough. To create a space for those of you that struggle with confidence, anxiety, chronic illness, sense of self, vulnerability, sensitivity, and beauty. For those of you who have so much to say, but don't know how to share their creations, their resilience, and their beauty that hides beneath layers of doubt, fear, and idea that you are not enough.
Every single one of us deserves to have our voice be heard;
Let us not exempt the "shy one," the one "lacking the confidence that it takes to make it." The one who has never been told that she/he is enough just the way that they are. The one living with a chronic illness, too scared to share their story because vulnerability is so often viewed as a weakness rather than a strength.
Within the past week, I have told myself that I am not beautiful enough. Within the past week, I have held my head in my hands, anxiety creeping up my spine, consuming my entire being. Within the past week, I have stopped myself from writing this post because I convinced myself that it wouldn't be worth it. That my voice didn't matter. That whatever I had to say, wasn't enough.
That being said, within the past week I reached out to people that inspire me, letting them know that their voice has encouraged me to share my story. Within the past week, I have looked in the mirror and told myself that I look beautiful. Within the past week, I have written, created, and come up with ideas that scare and excite me at the same time. Within the past week, I have made a commitment to myself, and now to all of you, that I will no longer view myself as a complicated mess, but rather, someone that can make a difference exactly the way she is.
The more we can let every beautiful, scary, and anxious part of who we are be seen, the stronger we will become, and the easier we will be able to let go of that fear of never being enough.
I don't ever expect that being vulnerable will become easy, and just saying that I have million and one reasons why I should drop what I'm doing and run (*ahem - sprint) in the other direction. What I do expect is to be let down, lifted up, pushed away, and accepted over and over. I expect to see a shift in the role that I believe myself to play, gradually gaining enough confidence to conquer those negative thoughts and believe that the all of me is beautiful, smart, worthy, and able to make a difference in this world.
It's amazing to see what happens when we begin to believe in who we are and the role that we wish to play.
You are so much more than the doubts and fears that hide beneath your skin. What do we have do lose - let's do this, shall we?!
All My Love + Strength,