On Processing Painful Information, Allowing Yourself To Feel + Moving Forward In A Way That Works For You
And like the wave retreats back into the ocean, uncovering forgotten treasures, weathered stones, and marine life eager to once again dive beneath the depths, here I am, standing in front of every thought I had promised to let go, moments and memories I had stowed away for a different life, a life that I would never have to face.
I look down at my hands, they're shaking.
I then place my hands on my heart, it's throbbing.
I close my eyes and dive into my thoughts, they're screaming, lost, and disoriented.
How did I get here? How do I face something so devastating that the thought of it sends me into a tizzy? Rather, a state of confusion seemingly impossible to come back from. The thing about these moments, the root of what makes them so difficult to process, is the feeling that they came out of nowhere. You think, these things, they aren't suppose to be happening. I mean, there is no way this could be true. Things weren't ever suppose to get this bad.
And that my friends, is denial. Or at least how my brain processes it, and there is a chance you may skip over it altogether, and that right there, is what I want to focus on: that no one person is going to face a difficult situation with the same mindset. No one person is going to go through denial, or fear, heartache, loss, pain, sadness, or even anger the same way, or even at all, which can make these kinds of situations all the more complicated to face.
For some of us, we seek comfort in each other, while others feel the need to run away from it all, or suppress it until it "goes away." In some cases, we don't feel anything at all.
With that, I want you to give yourself enough space and time to move forward in a way that works for you, all while being there for not only yourself, but those around you; we may not look at things through the same eyes, but we can all pull love from our hearts to honor the way in which that person sees, feels, and approaches painful moments in and out of our control. Allowing ourselves to just be there with these emotions is huge, so when we decide to open our hearts and our minds and our ears to those around us, the process becomes a little less painful, and the feeling of helplessness, loss, heartbreak, or whatever it may be, lightens because it's not just you carrying it, those around you feel it too.
As I try to pick up the pieces that have been scattered across what feels like every part of my life, I try to remind myself that I am not alone. That whatever I'm feeling, someone else might be feeling it to. Someone else might be processing painful information, but because they approach it differently than I, it may be hard for me to recognize. It may be hard for me to see at first, but if we can sit and honor the time we need for ourselves to let go and move forward, we are given the perfect opportunity to do the same for others.
So, with that in mind, feel whatever you need to feel. Mourn, cry, grieve, laugh (I do this terrible thing where before I cry or break down, maybe in part of my denial, I laugh in a really creepy joker kind of way - my apologies to anyone who as witnessed this!), or even scream; whatever you need to do, do it with all your heart. With every fiber of your being.
Reflecting on moments past, or those that have yet to come, can be an incredible tool, but only if used right. Only if used as a stepping stool to the next moment, lifting you up and encouraging you to turn your dreams into a reality. You see, those moments, even when painful, are filled with the people, places, ideas, and things that have helped to mold you into the incredible human that you are now. But if we mistreat this powerful weapon of ours, this tool, then our mind can be persuaded to focus only on the negative. Only on the things that had you crashing, stumbling, falling, desperately trying to get back up.
And even when you have convinced yourself that you've lost something, it can't really be gone, for it is the very thing you are going to use to pick yourself back up and do whatever it is you set your mind too.
You are going to use it to be there for yourself and others in the best way you know how to be. The only way: the way that works alongside you, not against, above, or beneath you. But right there, through the entire process and onto the next, whatever the next thing may be.
The best thing we can do for ourselves right now, is to be here. Is to love, listen, and cherish all that we have rather than don't. All the tools that we can use, places we can go, happiness we can thrive within, and lives we can change.
And that's including our own. So, let's pull strength from that, shall we?
All my love,