May 28th - June 5th, 2018: Things I'd Tell You

It's quite simple, really. 

I’ve got an idea, and though this isn’t an unusual thing to say, it is, for a reason I’m not quite clear on, extraordinary and extremely important. Oh yes, and selfish too. Maybe. 

Thanks to a conversation I had on grief with Adam, “Things I’d Tell You” is going to be a monthly piece in Real Talk’s, covering things like gardening, literature, adventure, the color of farm-fresh eggs, favorite poems, musings, grammar, and other such things. Things I’d have told you, Bob. And it should be noted, that I don't know what the future of this looks like, or how much I'll continue to share,

one thing is very clear: 

It’s a tug, a push, a thing I feel inclined to do, and I sure hope that you’ll join me. However that looks.

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I Haven't Been Completely Honest With You: Empty Promises, Endings, and Unavoidable Feelings

There are things I want to say. Things I have been meaning to say. Things that feel so big that I open my mouth to say them and all that comes out is, "yeah, I'm doing ok."

Truth is, things feel as far from ok as they possibly could. As I say this I cringe, knowing that I just took one of the most incredible trips with a dear friend and am about to begin another on behalf of More Than Lyme. What room is there to feel anything other than gratefulness for the opportunities I find myself standing in the wake and on the brink of?

Today I told Adam that I felt like a bowl of empty promises. Empty promises followed by one apology after another, in which he reminded me of what this community is built off of: honesty.

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My Gosh, Stop Apologizing and Just Give It Time: An Unexpected Note to Self

Ground Me

By way of pen to paper and rain, soaking through my wool sweater.

I stretch my arms up and wide, thinking of the yoga mat a few feet away — is that what I need? Turning my attention to anything that moves, eyes wanting to write this and that, doing my best to catch the thoughts before they pour from every corner of these past few months. 

Failed attempts. 

I feel the need to apologize, all the time. Why is that?

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When Wellness + Self Care Make You Feel Like You Aren’t Enough, Redefining What It Means to Be Badass + Writing a Book

I wasn't planning to come on here and write a post or publish a story until after the More Than Lyme Adventure, but here I am. Funny how that goes. I suppose I was craving something more personal. You know, less detailed planning and more of a non-restrictive creative source.

At the beginning of the month, I told myself I would have three stories published. There haven't been any posts since the end of January.

At the beginning of the month, I told myself I would have started side project A, B, and C. I dabbled in C, but it just wasn't happening. 

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What More Than Lyme Really Stands for + Why You Are Encouraged to Fill In the Blank

Never once did I think I would share this much. To dig a little deeper, reach a little further, and try, each time, to open up just a little bit more about the ideas, projects, adventures, values, and endeavors that are important to me. 

It usually takes a lot of persuasion on my part to sit down and write - it's not until later that I feel what some might call the flow. But at first? I am met with nothing but resistance. Resistance and at least five cups of tea in procrastination of, well, this. 

Good news, the tea is happily brewing next to me, so we can continue on without any further delays. 

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