I wasn’t sure what this week would look like since the event was wrapping up and we’d be driving home—all in all, the expectations I had for myself in creating any sort of content was quite low.
But here we are, expectation-less and ready to share whatever comes up, even if it’s a tiny itty bitty fraction of what I’m feeling in full. I have been planning for some kind of come down. For the want to rest but also the restlessness that comes with having dedicated your energy to one thing for months on end.
What now? What do I want things to look and feel like from here?
I am purposefully trying to not cram in a million and one things as my busy mind is eager to jump on that question with numerous answers and alternatives when things inevitably go a direction I wasn’t expecting.
I knew things would be different post event.
I knew that I would want to be more mindful of what content I put out there.
I knew that I would need to step back in ways that make me uncomfortable.
I knew that I would be facing insecurities around my worth and where it’s pulled from.
I knew a lot of things but I didn’t know how best to sift through it all. Not just that, but how to sit with it even when next steps are far from clear.
I’m sitting outside right now, it’s sunny at the moment, but clouds are quickly passing through. Making me question my decision to bring the office outside. That said, unless it starts raining this is where you’ll find me. So, in light of the focus for this month, and to push back against my overly analytical/wanting to figure it all out right now self, here are a few things that I’m celebrating this week:
Having completed the event & having had the most incredible experience while doing so.
Moving things in a direction that will allow me to better support myself, both mentally, physically, and financially.
Trusting that the direction this community is headed in is the right one.
The “colder” weather that reminds me of the island I grew up on.
Lastly, and most importantly, being part of SUCH an incredible community. A community that makes me want to be the best version of myself.
Without pressure to show up in a way that doesn’t feel right to me right now. Also, to not apologize for things that don’t need apologizing for. Like being ok with how delayed this weeks update is and having no clue where to go from here! Give yourself grace. Give yourself time to not have it figured out.
Ok folks, headed to our facebook group to do a sneaky live video update for you!
Will be back next week with hopefully a bit more processing under my belt (if not that’s ok too).