It’s late and I most likely should be going to bed, but I’ve found myself recently, craving this time on my own when everyone goes to bed and the world is silent. The house is silent. And my thoughts? Well, they’ve slowed down enough to where I can think in a way that doesn’t cause too much overwhelm.
As it was pretty clear from our live chat today, I’m feeling a little frazzled! Even the sunlight was bothering me (looking back on it now it seems a bit silly & I apologize for all the moving around, but one can only blame themselves so much). And besides, I’d rather show up for you that way than trying to pretend that everything was alright! I mean, I was wearing a winter jacket inside, that alone says it all.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how…
Once I tell myself I’m going to do something a certain way, I rarely every stray from it. If I do, it’s out of reluctance and with a lot of guilt. “Why couldn’t I make this work,” “I should have tried harder,” and one of my favorites, “I’m not cut out for this yet.” And by ‘yet’ I mean, I’ve never thought of myself as someone that would actually be able to accomplishment this. Meaning, I put a cap on how much I am allowed to dream! On how much I think I can do. I do this without realizing it, but now that I’m checking in with myself more, I’m realizing just how damaging it is.
There are many point throughout the day that I find myself not wanting to take the take to invest in my well being. In a sense, taking care of the every day things that could immensely help with the bigger picture, are so much harder for me to do. In all honestly, I am awful at taking my pills and supplements. It’s not because I don't want them or don’t believe they help, but there’s just something about getting up from wherever I am and whatever I’m doing, pouring a glass of water, and downing the pesky things.
And on the other side of things, I have a tendency to feel guilty when I’m investing in something like travel or an online class, feeling selfish of the opportunity to the point of ruining the experience myself.
We have to be careful when it comes to the process of it all; it’s one thing to decide you’re going someone, but to them completely sabotage it by telling yourself you don’t deserve it, now that’s going completely against the whole reason why you wanted to show up in the first place. Being, you felt that urge, nudge, or whatever it may be, to take that next step or to get curious surrounding something that terrifies you but you’d like to try it anyway.
We’re bound to get uncomfortable and we’re bound to change our minds, and not just once but countless times, and when it comes to investing in ourselves? When it comes to investing in others? When it comes to investing in the thing that mean everything to you, it’s no small thing and should not be treated like one, so when that feeling comes up or you decide part way through that you’d like to go a different direction, don’t feel poorly. Don’t beat yourself up, but instead see it as a sign of progress.
Recognizing that you’ve already taken the first step. That you’ve already done the hardest part. And when you have days where you feel like giving up or you “just don’t care” (I get those days all the time), do whatever it takes to settle back into the why while remaining rooted in the now. In what you’re feeling and how you can best move through it, rather than the expectations that you’ve no doubt set for yourself.
Those expectations can be good and healthy, allowing you to accomplish incredible things, just as long as you’re not basing your success off of whether or not you completed them as you said you would in the first place (again, the whole “it’s ok to change your mind” thing).
Anyways, I’m sure there’s more I could say on the subject (who knows, maybe I’ll pop by in the morning) don’t forget to take a peek at our live call from this week! you can find it below in our Private FB Group, as well as in a link above. And remember, expect a few changes to be taking place come March! You won’t notice much around here, though the weekly content videos might be “stored” differently, just in general.
Alright, it’s bed time for this one! I’ll be posting details for our “New Membership Format” within our facebook group, so be sure to head there to find out when we'll be having our conversations and what the “schedule looks like!”
All my love, always.