Posts tagged dreamer
Farm Life & What It Taught Me

July 11th through July 23rd, 2015. Step back. Breathe. Step back even further, and breathe even deeper. Here I am, out on a farm in the middle of no where. Surrounded by the gentle hum of silence, the distance chirping of birds, and the whistling of wind through the old barn doors. A place that forces me to rest, something that I so desperately need to do.

Far too often I find myself complicating things. I think that if I'm not moving, then I'm not being productive. This is all wrong, every single word of it. Don't think for a second that taking time for yourself is a waste of time, and don't you dare look down on yourself for doing it. So, that all being said, you should try to make 'doing nothing' a priority...

This is my attempt at just that.

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Loving Yourself

Hello again, world! Here I am, sitting on my red cushion in front of a roaring fire. Despite my health, I couldn't be more happy with how things are going. The stress of moving is now over, and we're finally settled into our new home.

I've been neglecting my blog recently. Not on purpose, but the prospect of writing has been difficult, as well as challenging. I'm back on tinidazole, a medication I was taking when my symptoms first started coming back in September, 2014. Basically it is designed to go into my brain and stop further growth of any bacterial infections, and in this case: the Lyme spirochete.

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A New Perspective

Here I am, sitting at my new office watching the sun start its day just like I am starting mine. As I look out through this dirty window, I see all the things I want to achieve, create, think, eat and explore, just on the other side of this smudged pane of glass. It’s been ten years since my family took an around the world trip, seven years since I spent a month in rural Nicaragua, five years since I graduated high school and fled to Scotland, three years since I spent time with my family in Europe and just over two years since I decided to spend all my money and travel around Turkey for a month. A lot of time has passed, a lot of me has changed, but the core of my being feels almost exactly as it did in 2005: curious, timid, excited, scared, strong, happy, lost but never, ever alone.

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The past couple weeks have been absolutely stunning here in Bend, Oregon. It's hard for me to do anything but be a tourist in my own town. So while my boyfriend Adam was away for the weekend, his dog Kona was left in the care of yours truly! While we were out on our little escapades, I realized how important getting out into the wilderness really was. It allows some time for my brain to clear, and my mind to rest. Especially if I am feeling jumbled or packed full of busy thoughts, putting myself in the sunshine for an hour or so can do wonders for my soul! I would recommend this completely free remedy to anyone who is having a busy or troubled day. Just take a second and breath in this amazing fresh air!

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Being Nowhere

I just practiced yoga. It was amazing, so naturally I now feel amazing. I am in Hayfork, California. It has been cloudy for the past couple days, when finally out of nowhere, patches of blue sky and sunlight fill the world around me. It took many months for yoga to feel like something I wanted to do every day. Sure, I always felt amazing afterwards, and the idea of doing it every day seemed very appealing…but I didn’t have that drive. Now come 2 o’clock, if I haven’t done yoga yet, I get this itching feeling like I have not reached the fullest potential of my day. Then I do it and BAM, all is well.

As my stay in the wilderness of California continues, I realize that there is something incredible about being in the middle of nowhere. It’s hard to describe (unless you’re actually in the middle of nowhere) but I’ll give it a try.

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Slowing Down

I look out over a muddy lawn. Raindrops cover the trees and puddles fill the street. A part of me feels like I am back in Seattle, where the constant grey skies refuse to let you know what time of day it is. All I need is a glimpse of the sun, something to show me that this fog will clear from my head, and that all will go back to normal. It has been nearly a month since I was in Mexico for Thanksgiving, which seems practically impossible! Just yesterday I was waking up to the sunrise over the Sea of Cortez, and watching the sunset from the small town of Todos Santos. Since I grew up in the Northwest, I should be well accustomed to this constant grey, but for some reason I can't shake it off. I want the sun to wake me up and show me that each day is full of so much light.

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