A Whole Lot More Than
Normally this kind of post would be in a Real Talk , but because this topic feels more like I'm embarking on some kind of adventure, my gut told me to go with it. So go with it is what I shall do!
How Sick Are You, Really?
Most of the time, I am able to put one foot in front of the other in order to reach my destination.
Most of the time, I am able to take my fingers, place them on the keyboard, and write until the hippo dog needs feeding.
Most of the time, I am able to roll out of bed, walk to the kitchen, make myself some coffee, curl up on the couch, and attempt to tackle whatever tasks I have planned for the day.
Most of the time, I am able to gulp down ten pills day (give or take), tell myself I am beautiful, smile to myself in the mirror, and embrace the day ahead.
All of the time? Well, all of the time I am fighting Lyme Disease. You might not see it, and that's ok.
I now allow myself to do these things, when before, I limited myself. I felt as if the experiences that I've had, stories I've told, and hardships I'd been through no longer mattered because I could do those things. Basically, I told myself that because I wasn't suffering enough, that I was no longer worthy of sharing.
So really, I was telling myself to cover up the very part of me that I have been working so hard to reach. The very part of me that I felt I had lost all those years ago when my Lyme flared for the first, second, third, and fourth time.
The way Lyme Disease manifests itself inside my body is guaranteed to be different than the way it does in yours, and that's part of what makes this disease so incredibly challenging to treat, to understand, to wrap your head around, whether it be you that has it, or a loved one, to say it is unpredictable is something of an understatement.
The Struggle Is Real. Quite Literally, Real.
Fighting a chronic illness or not, sharing your truths can be one of the hardest things to do. You can feel as if you're putting your heart on display for the whole world to observe, deciding whether or not they will judge, support, disregard, or feel inspired by what you say and how you say it. Truth is, you can't please everyone, but that certainly doesn't mean that you should judge yourself depending on how others perceive your story.
Before starting More Than Lyme, I rarely shared my thoughts in writing. I didn't think they were worthy enough to be shared with the world around me. I downplayed every experience I had, always telling myself that they didn't matter because someone had it worse. Something that is entirely true, but does not then mean that you should undermine or downplay the very real moments of hardship that you have lived through. They happened, they are yours, they are real, and they are something that you have faced, or have to face every single day.
I remind myself every day of what I am working towards. I remind myself every day of the moments, both good and bad, that have brought me to where I am today. I remind myself of just how hard I have worked to get to where I am and to where I am going. That I am worthy of getting after the things that make me smile. The things that make me laugh, cry, and encourage resilience.
I am reminded every single day, by all of you, that no matter where you're at, the battles your facing, or the hurdles you have yet to overcome, you should always feel worthy enough to do the things you love to do, to create, and to share the things that make you thrive.
So, How Sick Are You?
Let's answer this a bit differently, shall we?
"I am so much more than the doubts, fears, and illness that lives beneath my skin. I am an perfectly imperfect combination of the good, the not so good, and the straight up awful."
Share your story, whatever it may be! #MoreThanLyme